The Lisa Simpson Syndrome

I urge you, devotees, to check out Don Mills' Failure to Launch on his blog The Thirtysomething Curmudgeon Strikes Back. He has some great points about what does and doesn't matter to him in a device, and how the iPad is showing that Apple is a little too much a slave to its niche. But read mine first. And try to guess where "The Lisa Simpson Syndrome" comes from. There are bonus points available also, but I won't tell you how.

Update below

And Another Update After That

I'm sitting in front of my iMac, which I bought after my beloved Dell (which I used to own stock in, thank you very much) basically went all China Syndrome on me. My iTunes is downloading my podcasts, and then I'll plug in my iPhone and update my apps. My iPod, the third one I've had, sits nearby but it doesn't need to be synced because I did so last night. My wife's iPhone is plugged into the wall, and rests on her night-table as it is her alarm for tomorrow. My MacBook Pro is in the living room, charging, sitting on the area under the tv where one day our AppleTV may go, if we ever get a hi-def TV.

So yeah, I kinda like Apple products.

I was really anxious for the tablet, released today as the iPad. This had to be the worst kept secret in the industry. But as we got closer and closer to the release date, ne question kept nagging at me and nagging at me: How will I use this?

I followed along with the demo. I was really impressed by a lot of the interface elements that were being introduced, like drop down menus, and two-pane views. But I kept thinking, How will I use this? and the answer kept coming back to me: You won't.

I'm an analyst, and one of the big parts of that job is understanding the need for something. Before you can figure out a solution, you have to define the need or the reason you are doing this. "Everyone wants the ability to fax from our site" (to make up an example out of whole cloth) is not a need. "We need to have the ability to fax from out site because almost all of our clients run fax machine repair businesses, and what's the point of sending out communication if they don't have a fax?" is a Need. If you just draft a solution without understanding a need, well, you might create something nice, but you won't create anything truly useful (The rare exception to this is, ironically, the original iPod).

As I watched the demo I looked at the cool interface. That's lovely, look how full featured the email is. It's almost as good as running it on a....laptop. Which I have. Right here. This is where I raised my Spockian eyebrow: This really isn't anything new, or even an improvement on what exists. It's just a different way to do it.

Ahhh, but this device is mobile. Now, imagine being able to write all this stuff on the subway. True, that's a very good point. Except...well..look at how Steve is sitting, in a club chair, legs crossed, typing on a flat surface that's at an angle. I'm NEVER like that on a subway.

But it's a nice big screen. It's all screen. Yes, it is. And it also has what appear to be ungainly dimensions. My Kindle, which fits very nicely in my small man purse I MEAN messenger bag is just the right size to carry along with my lunch and sundries, and fits comfortably in my hand as I read.

But for me the greatest insult was Wi-Fi and 3G connectivity. I expected both, but I did not expect that (1) there would be a premium for 3G and (2) I'd still have to buy an additional data package. This is a dealbreaker, ladies!

I pay a good, not unattractive penny to Rogers for a data plan for my iPhone, and I've never come close to using the full amount of data that I buy for that. And I'm expected to pay MORE if I want to use the iPad outside of my house? Why would I not just tether with my iPhone to my laptop, which can do more than the iPad, has the keyboard in a logical place for working, and can multitask?

So fine, I save a little bit and get the Wi-Fi only model. So basically, it's stuck at home...where I already have my MacBook, my iMac, two iPhones and possibly an AppleTV, all of which can do the same as the iPad, only better.

Sure, there's the e-reader capability. Now maybe I'm a little bit overly impressed by my Kindle, but the dimensions on it are perfect for reading. The e-ink is easy on my eyes and the screen is always crisp and clean. I've tried reading on my iPhone, and let's forget the size of the screen, but the glare from the glass and fingerprints are a distraction. Yes, colour will be a great advantage for some people, but in the end like the Kindle you're still going to be stuck buying books from a single source.

Also my Kindle? Doesn't cost me to go online and get books. The 3G is built in and yes I'm subsiding it with the amount I pay for the hardware and books, but this is an invisible cost. Plus I've had it since New Year's Eve and charged it exactly once, and I read about two to three hours a day.

There are times when working around the house, or when we're out and about, that my wife or I will pull out our iPhones to check something, schedule an activity, make a purchase, talk to someone, or just look for some quick entertainment. This still amazes us, that this little machine, which fits in the palm of our hand, can do all of this and that it has seamlessly integrated itself into our lives.

Every time I look at one of the features of the iPad and start to get excited about it, the analyst in me goes "That Need is already met by something you already have."

Damn.

I think tablets are the future, but they have to provide some type of greater power and integration. When I think of the tablet I think of those sci-fi shows where someone pulls one out and controls their TV, their windows, their home, and their lives from it. It's something that syncs naturally with a cloud, not something that provides a gloss over existing activities.

It's a shame. I want to like the iPad, but I have to say that right now, at first blush, it looks like the answer to a questions that nobody asked.

Updated

According to the Globe and Mail today (January 28th), the iPad will be sold in Canada unlocked. At first I thought that this would negate my complaint about having to buy a new data plan. But then I realized: I would have to take my SIM out of my phone and put it in the iPad, thereby negating any use I could get out of my phone.

Also, I know this is version 1 of a new product, and people keep talking about the limitations of the first version of the iPhone. Well, the problem with that is that we're now many years later, and I would expect the iPad to pick up where the iPhone left off. Instead, all they've done is make a great proof of concept for a device.

And Another Update

1) 52 Weeks of UX, a great tumblr to follow, posits like Colin does in my comments that perhaps the more "technical" people are not the intended audience. They use the mythical "parents", which is keyword for people who want to use computers but don't want to worry about really advanced function. That's a noble calling, and I agree that might be it. But to get the most of our it you'd STILL need a wireless network and desktop computer. If they've already installed a wireless network then chances are they already have a laptop. If they haven't, then they're going to see the price tag $500 + a wireless router + setting it up and balk.

2) It's in the comments, but I'll post it here: What I saw when I imagined the iPad:

1. AppleTV gains PVR capabilities
2. Recordings synced with iTunes
3. iTunes syncs with MobileMe, using LaLa (which was bought by Apple)
4. iPad has built in 3G connectivity, but only to MobileMe (all other connectivity is at a cost)
5. Basically, we have the Apple Slingbox, but integrated into my entire media library

Hopefully future versions will move closer to this.

More proof that Apple is missing the boat.

One of the big things to come out over the past couple days has been the Square Credit Card Reader for the iPhone. By plugging a magnetic stripe reader into their iPhone's data port, people will be able to process credit card transactions. Many people consider this a boon for mobile businesses, like bike messengers.

First of all, this isn't the first external device we've seen plug into the iPhone. At both the 3.0 soft launch and hard launch, we saw blood pressure readers plugged into iPhones as an example of all the wonderful things you can do with the new software and hardware.

I wrote this at the time. And then I wrote this later. And I STILL say that Apple is really missing the boat here.

Imagine you're running a small inventory based business - let's say a record shop or book store because I spend far too much time in one and like to think I spend far too much time in the other. Imagine someone telling you that for the price of the phone you already own, plus an internet connection and some software (some of which is free), you can run those entire businesses. It's pretty close to that right now between Google Docs and the promise of Square and online payment providers.

But as you ran your business you'd find that while the iPhone is good, it's still kind of small for doing a lot of data entry on, and you have to squint a lot. So while it's good to get started, it's not very handy in the long run.

So you look at systems, and it seems every one you want to buy is going to be pretty big, probably make you change platforms, and also change the way your run your day-to-day operations since you're going to wind up buying a laptop or desktop machine. You sit down and talk to your computer nerd friends and say what you really want is something that does what your iPhone does but it, you know, a little bigger and easier to read.

Something, I don't know, tablet shaped.

It is completely beyond me at this point why people keep thinking of the mythical tablet as a media device. "Oh, I won't pay $900 for a big iPod". No, no one would. But would you pay $900 for an on-anywhere touchscreen computer that had 4G and wireless connectivity, that had a bevy of peripheral plug-ins that did everything from monitor your health to scan barcodes to measure relative humidity, that did the job of your phone, GPS, laptop, e-Reader, and yes music and movie player? Yes, you'd say, yes yes a million times yes.

Instead, we have people, analysts, pundits, wondering if people will spend that much to download music.

Now, I want you to take a look at this little list:

• A new standard operating system that works natively with exchange
• A server that runs for under $1000 and does not require a whole bunch of racks
• a handheld device with the power of a laptop
• the potential for a single, easy to carry device, that is location and position aware and integrate seamlessly with all the other devices.
• A wireless base station that also serves as a backup device.
• Access to the world of cloud computing.

Apple, except for the unicorn in the middle of the list, pretty much has a small business suite that is ready to be bought on their own online store in a matter of minutes, and will require very little initial setup. Apple also loves to provide gateway machines into their cult (viz iPod), and so when the business grows they are ready for Pro servers and whatever else they are ready to toss at them.

It's time for Apple to think beyond their current media obsession. They can still hold that ground, but the big boys (MS et al) have left a huge swath in the small-to-medium business market that is there for the taking. I don't think they'll suffer if they don't take it, but they will regret it.

In praise of the analog

Lately I've found two tools that have become completely indispensable when I'm writing user stories.

• pencil
• paper

Maybe because I'm such a horrible typist, but I've always found it easier to think when I'm writing out longhand. It was the same in university: whenever I had to work on an essay, I'd get a Hilroy scribbler and write the essay longhand in the front and do my footnotes in the back. I had everything in one place and an easy way of tracking my edits for when I had to type my paper. (We didn't all have laptops to carry to class and the stacks back then. Kids today...) To this day, it's almost impossible for me to really brainstorm unless I'm holding a pencil in my hand, even when I'm typing.

The most recent move to analog was born out of necessity. One part of analysis where I'm not so fast is screen design. Part of this is learning, and part is just pure speed when it comes to mocking up in Paint.net. For the longest time I would take screencaps of elements from the screens I wanted to use and cobble them together (I can hear many of you shuddering now). One time we were up against a deadline and I just brought the wireframes I had scribbled on graph paper to the meeting. They looked good, so I scanned them in, added them to the story, and it worked fine.

I was recently at some seminars on usability and design and we discussed lo-fi prototyping, and it appears I'm not alone. One example given were the designers at Apple who do most of their work on whiteboard and paper and rarely turn on their computers. The advantages are pretty easy to see: it's easier to pass a piece of paper around and quicker to change a mock up on paper or a board. What you lose in fidelity you make up for in speed and...yes..being more agile!

Having said that, there is one advantage to the lo-fi method that I discovered today. I've been working on a story for the past couple of days on my scratchpad (hunched over the paper, pencil furiously scribbling, Elbow playing at top volume, tongue sticking out). This story has a lot of moving parts, even at a high level, so I had a lot of text, wireframes, and flowcharts. I had everything where I wanted it and started writing the actual story on our wiki. Now, something happened at some point and instead of getting the nice fallback of "The version you were working on has not been saved. Do you wish to resume?" my story got eated. About an hour of layout and typing, gone.

For the first time in months, I actually openly swore while at my desk. There was enough blame to go around between me and the system, but it upset me enough that I didn't want to get rolling on it again. Plus, I had other things to write.

One reason I didn't sweat it, though, was because I took the time to write things out, scribble questions in the margins and then answer them, and prototype some ideas, all I really lost was transcription time. All my work is still there, and when I go in tomorrow morning I'll just open the red file folder on my desk and get back at it again.

And hit save after every damn sentence.